true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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