perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
