It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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