Don't you send me to vm
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you had me at cake vodka
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize