I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
