Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize