ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
