i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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