Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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