I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The uberlube is also flammable
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
