I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
