I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
