I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
