Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
