I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You smell like stripper and shame
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's always time for handjobs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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