If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
