You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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