Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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