have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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