nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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