Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
