im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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