LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
