someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
