I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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