Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
