I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
