problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
