Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
