Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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