dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
