I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
third nipple confirmed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
