Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
