i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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