We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
