i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
