I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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