Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
