Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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