Four minutes until I can fart!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My vagina just clenched in fear
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
