Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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