Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
