You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
