You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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