I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
