remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
