Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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