Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
