I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
