yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
