Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
