I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
that's an acceptable place to lick
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
