Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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