The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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