I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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