420 ftw
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
