mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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